How Men and Women Differ

BigTed · 02-08-06, 23:47

HOW MEN AND WOMEN DIFFER

NICKNAMES
• If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
• If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT
• When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
• When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY
• A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
• A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale

BATHROOMS
• A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from M&S.
• The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS
• A woman has the last word in any argument.
• Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

CATS
• Women love cats.
• Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

FUTURE
• A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
• A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS
• A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
• A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE
• A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
• A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP
• A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins, answer the phone, read a book, and get the post.
• A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL
• Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
• Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING
• Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
• A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
• Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

• What a woman says: C'mon...This place is a mess. You and I need to clean.Your trousers are on the floor and you'll have no clothes if we don't do the laundry now.
• What a man hears: C'MON ... blah, blah, blah YOU AND I blah,blah, blah, blah, blah ON THE FLOOR blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES blah, blah, blah, blah, NOW.

bob_dezon · 03-08-06, 04:38

i cannot deny any of this

Dazza · 03-08-06, 06:27

oh please, great guru tell me more....lol, true to us all.

02-08-06, 23:47	#1
BigTed Registered Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Australia Posts: 105 Images: 1,111 Threads: 32	Status: Offline How Men and Women Differ HOW MEN AND WOMEN DIFFER NICKNAMES • If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. • If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes. EATING OUT • When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. • When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators. MONEY • A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. • A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale BATHROOMS • A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from M&S. • The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items. ARGUMENTS • A woman has the last word in any argument. • Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. CATS • Women love cats. • Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats. FUTURE • A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. • A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. SUCCESS • A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. • A successful woman is one who can find such a man. MARRIAGE • A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. • A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does. DRESSING UP • A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins, answer the phone, read a book, and get the post. • A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. NATURAL • Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. • Women somehow deteriorate during the night. OFFSPRING • Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. • A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY • Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing. • What a woman says: C'mon...This place is a mess. You and I need to clean.Your trousers are on the floor and you'll have no clothes if we don't do the laundry now. • What a man hears: C'MON ... blah, blah, blah YOU AND I blah,blah, blah, blah, blah ON THE FLOOR blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES blah, blah, blah, blah, NOW. Your Ad Here

03-08-06, 04:38	#2
bob_dezon Registered Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 52 Images: 0 Threads: 0	Status: Offline i cannot deny any of this

03-08-06, 06:27	#3
Dazza Registered Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Australia Posts: 148 Images: 593 Threads: 25	Status: Offline oh please, great guru tell me more....lol, true to us all.