3 Minute Management Course

BigTed · 30-07-06, 04:19

Lesson 1:

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like
you and do nothing?"

The eagle answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the
ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox
appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Management Lesson 1:

To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson Two:

A turkey was chatting with a bull.

"I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey,"but I haven't got the energy."

Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the
bull."They're packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave
him strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next
day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at
the top of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the
tree.

Management Lesson 2:

Bull sh*t might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

Lesson Three:

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold,
the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While
he was lying there, cow came by and dropped some dung on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to
realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He
lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow
dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Management Lesson 3:

Not everyone who sh*ts on you is your enemy.

Not everyone who gets you out of sh*t is your friend.

And when you're in deep sh*t, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

This ends your three minute management course.

fahrenheit · 30-07-06, 12:26

Haha. Reminds me of the UK version of The Office where they have the management seminar - absolute classic episode.

AA767 · 31-07-06, 04:59

hahaha...that's great.

Much better than takin a management class in school

alias · 03-08-06, 18:32

Thanks, funny and very true at the same time.

30-07-06, 04:19	#1
BigTed Registered Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Australia Posts: 105 Images: 1,111 Threads: 32	Status: Offline 3 Minute Management Course Lesson 1: An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?" The eagle answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. Management Lesson 1: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up. Lesson Two: A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey,"but I haven't got the energy." Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull."They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree. Management Lesson 2: Bull sht might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there. Lesson Three: A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him. Management Lesson 3: Not everyone who shts on you is your enemy. Not everyone who gets you out of sht is your friend. And when you're in deep sht, it's best to keep your mouth shut! This ends your three minute management course. Your Ad Here

30-07-06, 12:26	#2
fahrenheit Registered Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 101 Images: 455 Threads: 21	Status: Offline Haha. Reminds me of the UK version of The Office where they have the management seminar - absolute classic episode.

31-07-06, 04:59	#3
AA767 Registered Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 51 Images: 110 Threads: 5	Status: Offline hahaha...that's great. Much better than takin a management class in school

03-08-06, 18:32	#4
alias Registered Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 95 Images: 2,822 Threads: 44	Status: Offline Thanks, funny and very true at the same time.